In honor of my second favorite President, Andrew Jackson, whose time I am actively attempting to return to, I hereby declare, without Congressional imput or approval, because, after all, who needs Congress, the Historical Relocation Act of 1825, er, 2025.
Facts are bad things. Facts are evil. Facts are dangerous. Facts take the truth away from your president and his vision for America. In fact, Facts are criminal, perhaps even treasonous. It is time to take Facts out of our museums, our libraries, our schools, our road signage, our national parks, our cities and our countryside. We are in very successful negotiations with several foreign governments who have declared themselves more than willing to take our facts for us. Therefore, pursuant to the Supreme Court ruling of September 8, 2025, anything that looks like a Fact, sounds like a Fact, or holds a low paying position in a Factory, will be rounded up and deported. In fact, we will rename all Factories into Truthtories and eliminate Facts from our beautiful nation altogether. Anyone sympathetic to Facts may be brought up on criminal charges and face suspension of citizenship, expulsion, imprisonment, or even death.
You are warned.
To the many, many people who say this is a good idea, thank you and God bless, and help me to Make Amerika Gullible Again.
