My Alter-Ego Wants His Own Book

Sometimes, it's hard to know what to write. This is rare, I admit, since i am a man of many opinions on many things and rarely am at a loss for words. Evidence -- look how many words I have used so far, and said nothing!

I could talk more about taxation, or health care, or the waning of America, but I feel a bit more upbeat this evening. I don't know why. Maybe it's going through old material of mine and discovering that I still like the stuff, that, yes, maybe I am as good as I want to be at writing stories. We shall see. But while working on Ghost Music I have come across older material that I thought would blend into the GM storyline, only to discover that this project may stand on its own. It will share characters with GM -- in fact, it shares one with AMBER WAVES. I see that quite a bit in writers, that they fall in love with certain characters and allow them to be our voice to the world. My voice, my alter-ego of sorts, may surprise you.

You'll have to read the book.

Anyway, it looks like GM might morph into several inter-connected but stand-alone books. If that's the case I will be happily writing and re-writing for decades! As I approach my 62nd birthday, it;s nice to have such job security. Money security is another matter. it is also nice to know that I have to stick around for those decades to do the work justice.

I am up for, and up to the task. I just how all of you will be patient.

In Praise of Shostakovich and Myself

The other day I got a Great Courses catalogue in the mail. These are wonderful opportunities to brish up on areas of little or long ago exposure, like the basic star map, or explore new curiosities, like how and when to serve what wine. I am always curious what is being offered, so, with no intention of buying a class )I have a star map and I serve whatever wine I happen to have), I peeked through.

One class was called “The Thirty Greatest Orchestral Works.” Being wrapped up in classical music (since I was a kid), I just had to look (having written a book). I found myself agreeing with most of the lecturer’s choices and was particularly pleased to see Shostakovich represented not once, but twice, with his Fifth and Tenth Symphony.

The Fifth is an obvious choice to me: it was the single most performed symphony of all that were written in the 20th Century. But the Tenth is a more obscure choice. Although in my book I called it his masterpiece. I thought of it as the Fifth in Retrospect – filled with sadness, anger, pathos, self-determination and ultimately joy. I like to think that perhaps I had a little influence on the decision makers with my own assessment.

Well, if we don’t toot our own horns, who will?

The Soul of a Poet

Ultimately, I think of myself as a poet, with a poet’s soul if not his talents. I think I am talented, but I have very little opposition. I have sold poems in the past, although many many more were rejected than accepted.

Still, talent or no, I write. Nothing stops me from writing. Millions of things stop me from submitting.

So bear with me if I decide to put some of my poems together into a volume or chapbook for publication on Kindle while working on my ghosts. As I say elsewhere, it has come time for me to put my Self and my Stuff out there where people can choose to read it or not, and if they choose not I have to accept that it’s their mistake.

My mistake would be to sit on it forever.

Dreams

I cannot always be profound. I am often profane, and being over 50 -- significantly over 50 -- I have it on good authority that it's okay to be that way. But profound? That comes in spurts, and even when I think I am being so, I may not be at all.

What I wish I could do, what I dream about doing, is writing a bestseller, I just don't know how. I understand that there is no real formula except being at the right place at the right time with the right editor in the right mood. I also know that if you don't submit, there is no chance at all. And yet, the submissions game is a hard one to play, and harder to come back to again and again. I have never been very good at rejection. I tend to want to pack up my marbles and move onto the next project, instead of persevering. Does this make me a coward? I don't know. But I still dream, of a million bucks in royalties and how to spend it.

Then I get sidetracked. Something grabs me and seems SO important, for a while. I run out of steam, or I begin to doubt that I am the one who should be telling this story, and it all collapses. The project gets put away, waiting for me to rediscover it. Ghost Music is like that -- I wrote it in 1997, then set the Ms aside. At least four other books, in various stages of development, are also tugging at me. If I can only stick to It, I might be able to write them all. Publishing, well, I will find a way.

At least I have job security well into my retirement! So wish me luck. More, wish me warm fingers and a strong will.

Off Line For A While

Dear Readers,

Just a quick note to let you all know I will be off line for a short time. Not that anyone would notice. But for the time being I am occupied with the delight of moving into a much larger accommodation. As wonderful as our kids have been to take us in, we now have a place to call our own and they can get their regular lives back as well. Yet we are only a mile and a half away from them and our grandson. It's what we call a win win win situation. Plus, once the dust has settled and been properly swept up, I can get back to writing again. So few projects, so much time!

So the Amber Waves sequel will have to wait. First my book on the Occupation. Then maybe a more lighthearted effort and a memoir and a horror novel that's been hiding in my closet like a Bogey Man, waiting to attack! But for the moment, silence. A short moment, I expect.

Thanks, and keep watcing for more. There will always be more.