Blokker for President 2016

Hat in the Ring: May Day! May Day! America is in trouble! I hear you, America! I hear and obey! After much careful consideration, I have decided to declare my candidacy for President of the United States. I have had great and varied experience in fully discussing and finding solutions for the problems of the world on numerous occasions, with a wide variety of individuals and groups, and maintain close contact with many important people throughout the world. I have worked both sides of the aisle – the grocery aisle; being taller than some, I have often helped the vertically challenged attain their top shelf ambitions. I have even found my own Supper Pact – my pledge to have dinner with anyone who will support me (and pay for the meal). I would vote for me. I therefore offer an alternative to politics as usual: a candidate with no funding, no super pack, no unnamed super-rich backers, not even a Party to call my own, though I love parties, especially intimate dinners with a handful of friends, my wife’s fine cooking and a nice bottle of Malbec. I know that I was not born in the United States, but, hey, that’s not stopping Ted Cruz.