Tuesday, June 16, 2015

Why I Can't Really Run for President


Why I Can’t really Run for President: I cannot really run for the office of President of the United States. I am not withdrawing my name from consideration, just explaining why it cannot happen as things stand today. The first reason is, of course, fiscal. I have no money. I am not in debt, but over my bank accounts hover a swarm of moths. I have no Super Pac or billionaire backers. The Democratic Party only knows I exist insofar as I might contribute to them. Then there’s that pacifist thing. The third reason is more critical: it is illegal for me to serve (though not to run). I am foreign born. I was born in the Netherlands and naturalized when I was seven years old. This makes me ineligible by Constitutional Law. The concern that my loyalty might be compromised if we ever get into a shooting war with the Dutch overrides all other considerations. Arnold Schwarzenegger has the same issue confronting him, though if he were eligible I imagine finding money to back him would be easier than it would be for me. Of course, Ted Cruz was also born in another country, Canada, but he found a loop-hole: one of his parents, his mother to be exact, was an American citizen at the time of his birth. She was planning ahead. For me, though, there is no recourse unless the Constitution is amended. So I guess I should follow Arnold’s example. I could be governor of Montana, or perhaps the junior senator. They like pacifists. But then, I always said, if I couldn’t have the top spot, my settle?

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